A Moonlit Serenade Page 13

  Once home and cleaned up from work, I parted my hair far to the right and braided the front section back, letting the ends pull through so it was an unstructured style—more to keep the wisps from my face—and pinned the ends with a few bobby pins. Overall, the look was casual but festive, especially after I tucked a few tiny, pink rosebuds from my one living plant into the style. I wore my favorite blue cashmere dress that hugged my curves and fell to mid-calf. I pulled on black tights and tucked my feet into my heeled black boots with the sassy silver decorations.

  After many long moments of consideration, I wore my grandmother’s pearl earrings but no necklace. The one that matched the dress and earrings had been a gift from Dez on our first anniversary, and wearing it—any mention of Dez—annoyed Jake. That level of jealousy still felt unwarranted, but I understood his dislike of my past being flaunted in his face.

  My biggest fear, well, after the idea of dying alone, without anyone to miss me: I wasn’t cut out to be a rock star’s girlfriend. I wanted a loving marriage, a quaint home filled with music, laughter, and lots of kids, and a man I could always, always count on to come home to me at night.

  Jake wasn’t a good bet for any of those.

  I sat on the edge of my bed and took deep breaths. Clearly, we were all wrong for each other.

  My doorbell rang and I stood, forcing my back up to straight and my chin to a jaunty angle. We’d have tonight.

  Then…then, I’d do what I needed to do.

  Laughter and joyous voices spilled from the synagogue as we made our way up the steps. Jake took my hand, sliding his finger between mine. I swallowed down the ache in my heart at his simple touch, the easy affection.

  Once we entered the building, we gave our coats to an elderly man. The man had no idea who Jake was, causing us both the relax.

  We added our hygiene packs I’d purchased earlier to the donation table— Jake grumbling about how it was supposed to be his shout.

  I ignored him and focused on the ebb and flow of the crowd.

  “Ever tried a latke?” I asked.

  Jake shook his head, so I led him over to the station of potato pancakes.

  “Mazel tov!” The middle-aged lady said with a broad smile.

  I eschewed the apple sauce but Jake added a bit to his plate, eyeing the pancake with skepticism. Biting into my latke, I enjoyed the crisp outer crunch and the soft, smooth potato center. Jake nibbled at his, his eyes brightening as he chewed. He dipped his latke into the apple sauce and grunted in appreciation.

  Once we’d finished, he took our plates and threw them in the large black bins lining the back wall.

  “Can you make latkes?” he asked.

  “My grandmother taught me when I was very young.” Because my mother was too busy working to pay me any attention. “They’re one of my favorites.”

  He clasped our hands together. “Mine, too. Can’t wait for you to make me yours.”

  I dragged my gaze from his, unwilling to agree or get sucked in further to a conversation about my family. Lack of family, really. “Oh, look! There are the dreidels. Have you ever played?” I tugged him over, not waiting for his answer.

  Thirty minutes later, Jake sang as he spun his blue plastic dreidel, eyes alight with pleasure when he won another piece of chocolate. He stood, offering this piece to me. I took it from his hand, my fingers brushing his palm.

  The heat from our connection sizzled up my arm, making me shiver and my heart ache.

  “Want to stay for the singing?” I asked, taking a bite of the chocolate. “Mm. This is good.”

  Jake rubbed the corner of my mouth, his eyes flaring with heat as he raised his thumb to his lips to suck off the crumb of chocolate that he had brushed off me.

  My breath caught as he continued to look at me with those mesmerizing eyes. Finally, he lowered his hand to my hip and leaned toward my ear. “I learned the dreidel song and ate a latke. Can that be enough for tonight?”

  My heart fluttered and I shivered. “Is there a reason you want to leave?”

  He nuzzled his nose into my neck, pressed his lips to the delicate skin just under my ear. “Ryn, Ryn, Ryn. I want to take you back to your place, strip you out of that arse-hugging dress and shag you till morning.” He pulled back just enough to meet my wide eyes. He leaned in until his lips almost touched mine. “M-maybe longer if you can s-s-s-stay awake.”

  My vocal cords froze, and I could only stare at him as he pulled me closer to his hard body. His eyes turned uncertain, much as his stutter proved his nervousness.

  A child bumped into our legs, laughing. What was I doing? What was he doing to me? He just wanted sex, which he could get from almost any woman. But he asked me—wanted to be exclusive with me.

  My heart pounded as I considered the fallout. Jake would hurt me. In the end, he’d leave. Everyone left me.

  I had to make the choice now and live with the repercussions.

  The “Dreidel Song” rolled around us. People’s happy voices rose above some applause.

  I wanted Jake. I wanted his body over mine—in mine. Taking him back to my place meant admitting my growing need for him.

  I whispered one word that ensured my eventual broken heart. “Yes.”

  14

  Jake

  Ryn remained preoccupied throughout the day, but especially after we spoke more about the album. She pulled back, and I couldn’t stand the emotional or physical space she wanted to build between us. Not now that I’d seen her in that dress. Not now that I knew how soft and supple her curves were underneath her clothes. I adored her flat tummy and small, puckered belly button. The flare of her hips, the slender line of her thighs. I craved her more with each passing second.

  “Did you have fun?” I asked as we walked toward my SUV.

  “Yes.” Her breath slid from her mouth in small white puffs, almost like the fairy floss I loved to eat at a carnival. Nothing but spun sugar, that stuff—it was delicious. Not unlike Ryn’s skin. “Though, to be honest, I don’t really like the holidays.”

  I stopped her there, on the sidewalk, the moonlight pouring down over us with its silvery fae light. “Why ever not?”

  “I guess because I never built my own traditions. Dez and I were only married for two of them. The rest I either spent alone or with friends.”

  “Why not spend it with his family?” I asked.

  “I did when we were young, but his family’s really into Christmas. I mean, Ted still dresses up like Santa on Christmas Eve. They had their own traditions, and as close as we were, I was always the outsider.” She shook her head. “Plus it gets dark early, and it’s cold. Better to just stay home.”

  “Tell you what. I’ll take you to Sydney—no, the Gold Coast—next year. We’ll surf all morning and eat a seafood feast right there on the beach.” I wrapped my arm around her waist and began to stroll again. “You can lick wine from my abs. Always wanted to try that one.” I winked.

  She giggled, as I hoped she would. “You’re a bad influence.”

  “I’m fun.” I grinned at my next joke. “The fun-loving Etsam brother.”

  She shook her head, laughing harder.

  I opened the car door for her and settled her in the seat. After settling in myself and starting the car, I said, “So what do you reckon? We got ourselves a date?”

  She stiffened, her body preternaturally still—as if she scented danger. “You don’t know where you’ll be next December. I’ll be here, teaching my classes, but you might be touring or recording or doing some PR thing or…whatever.”

  Oh, bloody hell. Ryn needed the assurance of long-term commitment. Much like I needed my mum so often after she booted my father. Dez abandoned Ryn, maybe not intentionally, but still. He left to fight in Iraq three years out of the five they were married. No wonder she expected the same from me. That’s why she’d pulled back. That’s why she wanted to protect herself.

  I slowed for a red light, then turned to face her, my heart leaping and my tongue tied. She st
ared straight out the window but her pulse jumped in her throat. Seeing the physical manifestations of her confusion eased my own.

  I ran my fingertips down her cheek and neck, loving the soft, warm velvet of her skin. The connection calmed me further—enough to speak. “Know what my mum used to say?”

  Ryn turned her head and met my gaze.

  “You make time for what’s important. That’s how you line up your priorities. Since meeting you, you’re tops on my priorities list.”

  Her smile bloomed brighter and she clasped my hand in hers. “Thank you for that. I worried.”

  A car honked behind me. Right-o. My turn. I held the wheel low with my free hand and punched the gas, enjoying this moment.

  “What’s the worry?” I asked.

  She sat still and quiet for so long I doubted an answer. Finally, she spoke. “My parents weren’t around much,” she said, her voice hesitant and filled with pain. “They weren’t concerned about what I had going on. I preferred to stay at Dez and Sam’s.”

  “My mum worked a lot after she booted my father out. Difficult and scary at times, growing up alone. Well, I had Murph, but I understand your worry.”

  She nodded, her face still turned toward the window. I caught a glimpse of her reflection in the glass, and her mouth puckered with intense emotion. Something about her relationship with her parents still rubbed Ryn the wrong way. My breath caught in my lungs. Had her parents abused her? Was that why she spent so much time with her neighbors?

  As soon as I put the car in park, she leaned over and kissed me, scrambling my thoughts and making me forget the questions I had for her when she ran her fingers up into my hair, pressing her soft breasts to my chest. I fisted my hand in her hair, and the kiss exploded.

  Within seconds, I’d pulled her across the gearshift and yanked her dress high enough for her to straddle my hips. My hands roamed from her ribs down over her hips to clasp her high, taut bum. I rocked her back and forth against the zipper of my trousers, but I wanted more.

  “We’ve got to stop.” My voice came out guttural, more of a grunt. Probably because all my blood left my head and pooled in the heated, aching flesh pressing against my flannel dress trous. When she wiggled, my hips bucked upward, pressing against her, seeking her heat.

  “Much as I love the kisses down my neck, we’re in my car in the parking garage. I want you naked more than my next breath, but I don’t want to embarrass you.”

  She raised her head, lips swollen, eyes heated with desire. I leaned forward and kissed her, keeping the touch light, soft, like a whisper. This time, I tucked her head against my chest, and held her until her heart rate slowed and my erection eased enough to find some comfort in my pants.

  I sifted my hand through her long waves, loving how soft and warm her hair felt against my callused skin.

  “Would you like to come up to my place?”

  “Yes.”

  She giggled. “Quick with that one.”

  I rolled my eyes. “Didn’t need to think about it.”

  Her breath puffed against my cheek before she scrambled out the driver’s door. “Come on, then, stud.”

  I eased out of the car, then took her hand as we headed toward the bank of elevators.

  “Got plans tomorrow?” I asked.

  She shook her head.

  “Wanna hang out?”

  “When do you need me to start recording?” she asked.

  “Next week. We’re finishing laying down the instrumental and all my songs as well as Ash’s. Pres added electric viola to hers and one of mine. Sounds good. I didn’t know your full work schedule, but Asher said we should be able to work around it.”

  We stepped into the elevator.

  “I’m off for a month after next week.”

  “That’ll work perfectly.” I grinned. “I’ll let Ash know on Monday so we can start working on our songs in a week.”

  She pressed her hand to her stomach, eyes widening. “Oh my. I’m really going to meet Asher Smith.”

  “Too right, love.”

  “I may pass out.”

  “Wouldn’t be the first time that happened.”

  “Or sing really badly because I’m nervous.”

  “That wouldn’t be a first either.”

  She fidgeted. “I don’t know how I let you talk me into this.” She opened the door to her apartment and I followed, shutting and locking the bolt behind me.

  “Yes, you do. You said my kissing drove you over the edge.”

  She removed her coat and threw it over the back of the couch. The dress clung tenaciously to her breasts. I wanted my hands on those soft-tipped globes. I wanted to suck those pretty pink nipples into my mouth, swirl my tongue, and bite just hard enough for her to mewl in pleasure.

  “Will you take me to bed, Jake?” she asked, voice hesitating just enough for me to know she didn’t ask that question often—if ever.

  I smiled, liking her hesitation. Somehow, that added to my power—my role as in-charge. Yeah, this was good. We were good together. “I’d like nothing more.”

  “Will you…” She raised those big brown eyes to mine, hers vulnerable but also heated with desire. “Will you love me, Jake?”

  I snaked my arm around her waist. “With pleasure.” I bent down, my lips hovering next to her ear. “I promised you a night of passion, and I plan to deliver. Then I’m going to cuddle you close till you slip into slumber.”

  She wrapped her arms around my neck and slid up onto her tiptoes. “That all sounds great. But…”

  I ran my hands over her arse, pulling her tighter to my hips, groaning at how good she felt. “What?”

  She stepped back and unzipped her zipper. Pale creamy flesh glowed in the soft moonlight, highlighted by the slash of rose-pink satin bra and panty set.

  “I can’t wait for the bed.”

  I hauled her into my arms, my need matching hers.

  I wanted it to be like this, just the two of us, forever.

  I hoped it wasn’t too much to ask.

  15

  Ryn

  Since I’d made the decision not to boot Jake from my life the night at the synagogue, I waited for the perfection to wear off. Not that Jake was perfect—he tended to overthink everything, sticking to more cautious food choices or driving routes. Fine. I found those idiosyncrasies adorable. He liked to eat banana muffins with a strong cup of Earl Grey in the morning. He took up most of my queen-size bed…but he cuddled in close, keeping me both warm and safe in his arms.

  Somehow, in a blink, my life took a sharp turn into fairy tale land a few weeks ago, and I loved—and feared—every minute of this new reality.

  I called my doctor and reinstated my birth control prescription. Picking it up from the pharmacy the next day took more fortitude than I expected, but Jake asked me to give him time, and I’d promised I would.

  Still, my heart ached a little each time I popped the pill. Yet Jake made up for that ache in so many ways.

  Eating meals with him seemed normal as did our time in my apartment—he’d stayed over more nights than not. By that weekend, I couldn’t stand it anymore.

  “Why do you keep the suite at the hotel?”

  “Because my clothes are there, and I need to practice my bass.”

  “But…you can do that here.”

  Jake paused, lifted his face toward my heated one. “You sure you’re okay with me being here?”

  “Um. Yeah. I mean, you are anyway. And the amount of money you’ve shelled out for that hotel room you barely see makes me ill.”

  “I play my bass for hours, typically. And now I need to work on my voice exercises—when I’m not at the studio.”

  “My neighbors work most days and won’t be here to hear you. And I’ll need to be working with you on these songs.”

  Jake wrapped me in his arms. “I thought about buying a condo near you but I worried that would be presumptuous. Or that the places I looked at would offend your sensibilities, sending me back into that ‘
you people’ category.”

  I shrugged. “I don’t like to waste money. My parents worked hard to raise me in a nice neighborhood with good schools.” But never gave me the one thing I needed from them: affection. So, yeah, I saw money as a tool—one I liked to stockpile. But I craved this closeness with Jake, which had more to do with my decision-making than I was willing to tell him. Yet.

  Jake didn’t love me. He might not ever even though we were more comfortable together than most couples I knew. Still, love didn’t just spontaneously occur—at least not in my life. It built over time, with each new layer of trust and acceptance, laughter and cuddles.

  But then, Dez said he loved me, and left.

  I closed my eyes and rested my cheek against Jake’s shoulder, my mind spinning on the same topic I had yet to fully grasp. Except that our relationship moved at light speed, and I couldn’t figure out how to slow it down. Didn’t want to, really. But…with speed came exceptional crashes. Big, fiery ones that destroyed everyone they touched.

  “I get that. My mum did her best, but money was tight—too tight—for years. Probably why I like tossing some of it now. But you’re right. Squandering cash isn’t my thing. I’ll cancel the suite. And if it gets to be too much, I can bunk with Isaac and Alan down the hall.”

  I didn’t say anything, but my shoulder tightness eased.

  “I can’t believe you were able to get a sublease here so quickly, and on this floor.”

  “Yeah. Funny how things work out sometimes.” Jake hugged me closer to him, pressing a kiss to my temple. “And if you’re a’right with me being here for a bit, I’ll stay whilst I look for another place.”

  I sat back to pull my hair up into a loose bun, mainly to cover the building tremors in my hands. This conversation constricted my chest. “You really want a place in Seattle?”

  “Fair dinkum.” Jake threaded his fingers through my hair, loosening the bun until my waves tumbled down my back again. “Three of Jackaroo’s members are here. My brother and his soon-to-be-wife plan to live here. I’m working on this album. Yeah. Makes sense to own a place. I’ll be back and forth because of Murph and Mil if nothing else.”